After just posting 50 uncommon things I had done in my life, I thought it might be time for the dumb things I have done. Not sure I can make 50, but here goes.
1. Jumped fences in Bel Aire (Think Beverly Hills on steroids) California to be chased by the dogs. (We were, and after about the the 5th house, when the Rottweiler nearly got us, we decided this activity was not really worth pursuing.)
2. Stole golf cart path marker plastic chain from every hole on an exclusive country club. Then we got a bit of conscience and threw it all back over the fence the next night, except for the little bit my friend kept to make a hippie door.
3. Cruising in the mountains around Lake Arrowhead California at 110 mph whilst riding on the trunk and holding onto the roll bar of a two-seater Datsun 2000 convertible.
4. At age 14 I had a summer job working at a YMCA camp at Big Bear Lake in California. It was a great job, but I quit half way through the summer because I was home sick.
5. At the summer camp, I stepped on a scorpion with my bare foot in the shower. Major mistake.
6. Lit a firecracker and held it in my hand whilst it exploded to see what it felt like.
7 Threw water balloons at passing buses with open windows while a missionary during carneval in Peru in 1972. Hit a lady with a baby. That was what got me thrown into the South American Jail, from which I escaped. (They were going to keep me in jail for 24 hours and then send me to the judge. After the shift changed, I told the guard that the arresting officer told me I could go home after 5 hours, so they let me go.
8. Ate food from street vendors everywhere I went while serving as a missionary in Peru. Only got sick once, when I found out that what I thought was barbecue beef heart was actually dog meat. And I found out it was dog meat the next day, so it was purely psychological that I got sick.
9. Fell asleep while driving the Mitsubishi Lancer and rear-ended a Mercedes. Not wise at all.
10. Played soccer barefoot on the beach whilst a missionary. Broke my big toe when I got a shin instead of the ball.
11. I guess the missionary experience yielded several dumb things. I was way overweight on the luggage coming home, so I threw out my journal I had faithfully kept for 2 years.
12. Not sure how I did this, but whilst carrying a potted plant past the pool out to the car to use as a visual aid for a Sunday School lesson, I suddenly ended up in the pool wearing my suit and tie. My children have regaled everyone they know telling that story.
13. Worked late and got my truck stolen for my troubles. (obviously age and experience do not preclude me from continuing to do dumb things.
14. While we were driving around the mountains in the Datsun at 110 miles per hour we stopped at every snowman made on the side of the road and picked them up and put them right in the middle of the road. There were about 30 of them.
15. After a relative got pulled into the Pacific ocean by a fish he had caught and lost an expensive fishing rig in the process, he got back into the boat dripping and sopping wet, my first question to him was, "Uncle Sy, is your watch waterproof?
16. Tripped one of the train robber actors at Knott's Berry Farm in California. It was a glorious fall, let me tell you. He got up and whacked me on the knee with the butt of his very real gun.
14.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
50 Uncommon Things I have Done in My Life:
50 Uncommon Things I have Done in My Life:
1. Been on a hijacked airplane.
2. Stared down a wild bear about 5 feet away from me.
3. Been in three major deadly earthquakes.
4. Been chased by three tornados at the same time.
5. Been chased by three different lightning bolts within 5 minutes.
6. Dug up and reburied a human body.
7. Met a US President, the world’s richest man, and Walt Disney.
8. Climbed to the top of Huayna Picchu above Machu Picchu in Peru.
9. Climbed to the top of the pyramids of the sun and the moon at Teotihuacan in Mexico.
10. Seen Michelangelo’s David up close and, ah, personal. And a bunch more Michelangelo works.
11. Had dinner across the street from the church where Michelangelo practiced human dissection.
12. Been thrown in a South American jail.
13. And escaped from same.
14. Played at Carnegie hall – figure that one out.
15. Stood in 4 states at the same time.
16. Stood in the eastern and western hemisphere at the same time.
17. Crossed the equator man times.
18. Been skinny-dipping in the Pacific ocean. We will just leave that one alone.
19. Been on the field and in the locker room of the Rose Bowl during a football game.
20. Made nitroglycerin.
21. Been on ground zero at the World Trade Center
22. Walked DOWN the 687 steps in the Washington Monument.
23. Crossed the Rio de la Plata From Argentina to Uruguay.
24. Stalled an RV on a ferry and couldn’t get it started – kept all cars waiting for 20 minutes until they could get a tow truck down the ramp.
25. Worked as a chef in a restaurant on Hollywood Blvd in Hollywood, California.
26. Seen Howard Hughes’ Spruce Goose before it went on public display
27. Kept a boat about 50 feet away from where PT 73 from the TV show McHale’s Navy was kept.
28. Fired a machine gun.
29. Flown (piloted) an airplane (I was in it, it was not on the end of a string).
30. Been nearly blown out of the water whilst trying to see the battleship New Jersey from the sea. (They were giving public tours from the dock inside the ship. We figured it was OK.)
31. Been quoted and pictured on the front page of a newspaper.
32. Kissed my wife under the Eiffel Tower.
33. Been a TV cameraman with my work on the air.
34. Held a real Oscar statuette.
35. Been an actor in 19 plays.
36. Have a full scale guillotine in my back yard that I built myself.
37. Sat in the US House of Representatives and Senate Chambers in Washington DC.
38. Seen the Space Shuttle land and take off on the back of its 747 whilst being transported from Edwards Air Force base in California. (Awesome).
39. Seen numerous missiles from Vandenberg Air Force base in California deliberately blown up in flight to prevent the errant missiles from landing on a populated area (Also awesome).
40. Touched a piece of the moon.
41. Saved a friend from drowning (After I convinced him he could dive into 15 feet of water).
42. Directed an archeological dig.
43. Know what the phrase “raising the level of the Thames” means.
44. Seen a ballet performance in the old Paris Opera House (Cinderella)
45. Saw Les Mis from the center seat in the 4th row two weeks before it closed on Broadway
46. Watched the filming of an episode of the original Starskey and Hutch TV series.
47. Been to 49 of the 50 US States (missing Hawaii).
48. Been inside Hoover Dam on Lake Mead.
49. Seen the Rosetta Stone
50. Watched Sandy Koufax pitch a no-hitter baseball game in Dodger Stadium.
1. Been on a hijacked airplane.
2. Stared down a wild bear about 5 feet away from me.
3. Been in three major deadly earthquakes.
4. Been chased by three tornados at the same time.
5. Been chased by three different lightning bolts within 5 minutes.
6. Dug up and reburied a human body.
7. Met a US President, the world’s richest man, and Walt Disney.
8. Climbed to the top of Huayna Picchu above Machu Picchu in Peru.
9. Climbed to the top of the pyramids of the sun and the moon at Teotihuacan in Mexico.
10. Seen Michelangelo’s David up close and, ah, personal. And a bunch more Michelangelo works.
11. Had dinner across the street from the church where Michelangelo practiced human dissection.
12. Been thrown in a South American jail.
13. And escaped from same.
14. Played at Carnegie hall – figure that one out.
15. Stood in 4 states at the same time.
16. Stood in the eastern and western hemisphere at the same time.
17. Crossed the equator man times.
18. Been skinny-dipping in the Pacific ocean. We will just leave that one alone.
19. Been on the field and in the locker room of the Rose Bowl during a football game.
20. Made nitroglycerin.
21. Been on ground zero at the World Trade Center
22. Walked DOWN the 687 steps in the Washington Monument.
23. Crossed the Rio de la Plata From Argentina to Uruguay.
24. Stalled an RV on a ferry and couldn’t get it started – kept all cars waiting for 20 minutes until they could get a tow truck down the ramp.
25. Worked as a chef in a restaurant on Hollywood Blvd in Hollywood, California.
26. Seen Howard Hughes’ Spruce Goose before it went on public display
27. Kept a boat about 50 feet away from where PT 73 from the TV show McHale’s Navy was kept.
28. Fired a machine gun.
29. Flown (piloted) an airplane (I was in it, it was not on the end of a string).
30. Been nearly blown out of the water whilst trying to see the battleship New Jersey from the sea. (They were giving public tours from the dock inside the ship. We figured it was OK.)
31. Been quoted and pictured on the front page of a newspaper.
32. Kissed my wife under the Eiffel Tower.
33. Been a TV cameraman with my work on the air.
34. Held a real Oscar statuette.
35. Been an actor in 19 plays.
36. Have a full scale guillotine in my back yard that I built myself.
37. Sat in the US House of Representatives and Senate Chambers in Washington DC.
38. Seen the Space Shuttle land and take off on the back of its 747 whilst being transported from Edwards Air Force base in California. (Awesome).
39. Seen numerous missiles from Vandenberg Air Force base in California deliberately blown up in flight to prevent the errant missiles from landing on a populated area (Also awesome).
40. Touched a piece of the moon.
41. Saved a friend from drowning (After I convinced him he could dive into 15 feet of water).
42. Directed an archeological dig.
43. Know what the phrase “raising the level of the Thames” means.
44. Seen a ballet performance in the old Paris Opera House (Cinderella)
45. Saw Les Mis from the center seat in the 4th row two weeks before it closed on Broadway
46. Watched the filming of an episode of the original Starskey and Hutch TV series.
47. Been to 49 of the 50 US States (missing Hawaii).
48. Been inside Hoover Dam on Lake Mead.
49. Seen the Rosetta Stone
50. Watched Sandy Koufax pitch a no-hitter baseball game in Dodger Stadium.
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